A Special Tribute To My Mom
My mother was a complex, multi-faceted person. Many of you knew my mother personally, and many of you knew my mother indirectly through one of her family members. You may have known her as a coworker, a friend, or a support person. Of course, all of my mother's family also knew a part of her, a "facet" of her--as a mother, a sister, an aunt, a grandmother, a cousin.
I, of course, knew my mother as a mother and a friend. My mom shared much of herself with me, and I saw sides of my mother as she struggled with her cancer that I had never seen before, especially her strong belief in positive thinking and the importance of quality of life. I was privileged to know so many facets of my mother, but certainly I did not know all. There were parts of her life that I did not see. At the wake, so many stories were told to me about my mom's strength, courage, humor, kindness, bluntness, and her loyalty as a friend. It was so special to hear of these things that my mom said and did, to know some of these other parts of her life. I hope that her friends and family continue to share these stories with me and one another so we can continue to know and remember my mom.
So, therefore, I would like to share a little about my mother as I knew her--as her middle child, her third son.
As a young child, I knew my mother as strict and consistent. The house was orderly. Rules were clear and expected to be followed. Of course, I was always compelled to test this side of my mother--I cannot tell you how many hours I spent hiding under a bed, staring at our tile!! Even then, my mother did not believe corporal punishment as such, she did use the occasional "wap" on the arm or behind when she felt it was necessary.
My mother also had a fun side. I remember her listening to the radio on Sunday mornings, as us kids were eating our breakfast before heading out to play, and watching her be excited about a gospel song being played. In my younger days, I did not know my mother as too outwardly affectionate, but I always knew that I was loved. I also knew my mother as a person who did not shirk her responsibilities, who did difficult things without complaint. I saw her care for a very good friend of hers that had suffered from a really bad stroke, and I have never once heard her complain about it.
Another "facet" of my mother that I was privileged to get to know was her "grandmotherly" side. She loved her grandchildren fiercely and was always willing to baby-sit them. She also told them all kinds of embarrassing stories about me (none of which were true, I am sure!!!!). My mom extended this same "grandmotherness" to all children. She delighted in all the kids' successes and always told them all how special they were and how much she loved them.
And, finally, in these last few months, I got to know the very human side of my mother. She showed me that she could be vulnerable, scared, and discouraged. At times, she became the child that needed me to parent her--I just tried to do what she had always done for me. She did, of course, still have her stubborn streak, though. I am sure that through the rest of my life, those around me will see flashes of my mother in me--the good and the bad!!! I am my mother's son! Each of you also carry a part of my mother, and at times you will do or say something a certain way because of her. I hope you will always remember my mom, and share her memories with others! There are so many more memories of my mom--if I shared them all here, we would be here for a week!!